Tired of the diet roller coaster? Does it feel like nothing works? I know I struggled with this and after trying everything over 20 + years, I’ve learned one of the biggest issues with “dieting” is the word itself. It does something in our minds; it reads as restriction, maybe even punishment. It also implies it is finite, when, really our health and wellbeing is a lifelong process. I have learned that the key is to shift from fad diet hopping to nourishing the body and improving your health. I am sharing with you here how you can lose weight and feel better in three weeks without dieting. It comes down to three things:
- Properly fueling the body
- Exercise
- Positive self-talk
If you’re like me, many of you may struggle not just with weight loss or trying to achieve that ideal physique you dream of, but also lack of energy, and maybe not feeling the way you want to; struggling with depression or just feeling disconnected to yourself. You may have tried every supplement, diet pill, exercise program, or diet out there and still haven’t seen real or lasting progress. After a lifetime of doing this myself I have learned what is actually effective to lose weight and feel better.
Since I was about 14 years old I have been on the diet and exercise roller coaster. I have tried just about everything you can name. The first was low-fat, which was the trendy diet when I was a teenager. I was only eating 7 grams of fat every day and I was doing 45 -90 minutes of exercise a day. As a 14 year-old, I was able to drop 40 pounds in 4 months. I regained all that weight within a year when I went off the low-fat diet. In my mind, once you lose the weight it just magically stays gone, right? Wrong! I had no clue about maintaining weight loss. Fast forward to my 20s, I’m overweight and want to change it. So, at that time low-carb was all the rage. I did this for four years…FOUR YEARS you guys. I was eating a low-carb diet, I was lifting weights and doing cardio for 90 minutes every morning. It took me that long to lose about 50 pounds. I was the smallest I’d ever been, but I was miserable and I still didn’t like what I saw in the mirror.
Eventually I started looking for a different way to eat that wasn’t so extreme. I was going to lose my mind if I had to eat another chicken breast. So, I kept working out, but added fruits and complex carbohydrates back into my diet. That’s it. That was the only change I made. I was still exercising and following good nutrition. Know what happened? I gained 35 pounds in 3 months. How did that happen? Well, I didn’t know it at the time, but I’d destroyed my metabolism and body’s ability to process carbohydrates from such extreme diet and exercise for so long.
The cycle continued over the years. My weight would go up and I’d find a way to get it back down. After I had my first child I got back to pre-baby weight following a 1,000 calorie/day diet and exercising for an hour 3 times/week. After I had my second child that same approach, that had been so effective the first time, didn’t work. By the time I’d had my third child and started trying to lose the weight again, I was running out of “fad diets” to try. That didn’t stop me, though. I still bought and tried any supplement I could find promising miraculous weight loss. I signed up for numerous programs, bought countless fitness video programs. While, I made a little progress with each, it wasn’t lasting because they all had something in common: they weren’t sustainable long-term.
We are so conditioned in our culture, by the weight loss and fitness industry to believe that if you aren’t dropping weight it’s because you aren’t disciplined enough, or that you have to go to ridiculous extremes to get the results you want. Does living on 1,200 calories a day and intense exercise 5-6 days a week for at least 60 minutes sound sustainable long-term? Is it any wonder when you do these you have almost no energy and you feel almost worse than when you started? The truth is, most of this is garbage or outright lies we are told so we will buy the pill, book, membership, program, or all of the above.
I have spent more money than I care to add up on these so-called health and fitness programs. I’ve fallen into the same trap over and over and over, over the course of 30 years of my life. Eventually I did find several different programs that did help and that taught me a different way and helped me shift my mindset. I am going to share with you what I have learned and applied from these programs as well as my lifelong experience of being on the diet and fitness roller coaster.
So, let’s get into how you can actually lose weight and feel better in 3 weeks. First, why 3 weeks? Well, research shows that it takes 21 days, or 3 weeks to form new habits or break old habits. Second, I want you to let go of what you’ve been told or think you know about losing weight. You do not have to torture yourself or live on lettuce for the rest of your life to look and feel your best. Third, shift your focus from getting to a certain number on the scale to changing how your body looks and improving your health. Fourth, accept this is a lifelong process and there are no quick fixes. It takes time not only to make behavioral changes, but also to make those physical changes you want to see in your body. There is much more to your physique than your actual weight. In fact you can be exactly the same weight 12 months apart, yet look completely different based on what you are doing.
Examples of other important measures of progress when you are working to lose weight or change your physique:
- Body fat percentage
- Measurements
- How clothes fit
- Pictures
Ok, so those are the things I want you to keep in mind as you move forward with this. Now, let’s get into how you can lose weight and feel better without starving yourself or extreme dieting.
- Properly fueling your body.
When strictly talking about physique, body composition, losing unwanted body fat, the biggest thing is what you are putting in your body. The old adage you are what you eat is true. This is the first on the list because it is absolutely the biggest component. You can exercise all the livelong day, but if you are eating crap or essentially starving yourself, not only will it be nearly impossible to lose weight, but you will feel terrible and exhausted. There are a few key components to this:
Eat to nourish your body. This is about the type of food to eat. If you are eating as follows, you will not need to track food or count calories all day. Your “diet” should be comprised of the following:- Lean protein: chicken and turkey breast, egg whites, fish, lean pork cuts, lean beef cuts. This can also include protein powders and vegan protein sources. A good general rule is a serving of protein is about the size and thickness of your palm.
- Healthy fats: this can include certain dairy like Greek yogurt, low-fat milk, cheese, even butter. This also includes nuts, nut butters, olive oil, coconut oil, and avocados. Be mindful of the amount you are using. This is one category where it is best to measure until you have a feel for measurements, especially with nut butters. 2 tablespoons has about 16 grams of fat; so it’s important to measure fats.
- Carbohydrates: there are two types of carbohydrates, simple and complex. If I had to boil it down, the main difference is complex carbs have higher fiber and have a lower glycemic index than simple carbs. Aim to eat primarily complex carbohydrates over simple. For example, opt for pastas and bread with higher fiber levels. I go for at least 3 grams of fiber. Brown rice over white rice and other high fiber grains like farro, barley, steel cut oats, etc.
- Fruit and vegetables: with vegetables, other than a couple exceptions, I don’t even worry about how much I eat. I don’t even think it is possible to overeat vegetables and the benefits of eating more vegetables outweigh anything else. Raw is even better than cooked; so aim for at least a couple servings a day of raw vegetables. I also aim to include vegetables in every meal and snack. Another great tip is when you’re hungry, and this always used to come up for me after dinner, eat a veggie snack first. If you find you’re not really feeling that, then more than likely you are not truly hungry, but bored or thirsty.
- Water: this was one of the hardest changes for me. I loved my diet soda and iced tea. But, the reality is, you should be drinking primarily water. The general rule is at least 8 8-oz glasses a day, but ideally you want to be closer to a gallon or your body weight in ounces. A good way to start with this is reduce the number of non-water drinks you have each day and replace it with water. I encourage you to do some research on the benefits of drinking water. There are numerous. Assisting with weight loss is just one.
- Fuel throughout the day. Eat three meals each day, comprised of protein, healthy fat (sometimes your protein and fat source can be in one), carbohydrate, and fruits or vegetables. Eat 1-2 snacks each day, based on hunger levels. Space these out about 2 ½-3 hours after last meal. These should be comprised of some or all of the same foods as your meals. At a minimum include some protein in every meal.
- Tuning into your body’s hunger and satiation signals. If you follow the guidelines and eat according to what I laid out here, you will start to get more in tune to your body’s hunger and satiation signals. It is a very different sensation when you are actually giving your body the types of foods that fuel it. Eating a plate of roasted chicken breast, a serving of pasta with red sauce, and spring mix salad, for example feels very different; than it does to eat a restaurant size portion of chicken fettuccini alfredo. In the first example your hunger will be gone, but you won’t have the bloat and overstuffed feeling you might get eating the restaurant fettuccini alfredo.
2. Exercise.
It’s tough to talk about weight loss and feeling better without exercise being in the mix. While we often associate exercise with weight loss or getting a certain physique, there are so many other benefits to it. For one thing, it will absolutely make you feel better. It gives you a natural boost. It is good for your body. In fact, there have been studies that show not exercising is worse for you than smoking. It can increase energy levels. I can help your sleep. It can both reduce risk of chronic diseases and help alleviate chronic disease symptoms. The list goes on.
On the flip side, you can take it too far and damage your metabolism in the process with extremes in exercise and diet. I am guilty of having gotten myself addicted to super intense exercise regimes. I was stuck in the mindset for years that if I wasn’t dripping in sweat and completely out of breath, I was “slacking.” This is not what you want to do. You want to find exercise that challenges your body; but you don’t want to be in a prolonged state of a high heart rate. There’s a ton of research behind how that can wreak havoc on your hormones and counter your efforts.
Again, this is about lifestyle change, health, and feeling better, Not beating yourself through an exercise program. Find an exercise program, approach, class that you enjoy and can do consistently and regularly. This should be like bathing and brushing your teeth; it’s part of caring for your body and therefore it’s part of your daily or weekly routine. I highly recommend weightlifting or strength training. It is essential for improving your physique. Plus, a higher amount of muscle mass helps increase your base metabolism; so you burn more calories through the day.
3. Positive self-talk.
Last on the list is positive self-talk. Everything I have laid out here is about loving yourself. I include this because I know often what is behind us ladies seeking “weight loss” or changing your physique is a negative self image or negative self talk. This turned out to be the root of my weight and body issues for my whole life. Our culture is so emphatic on what we look like. We are bombarded with it from birth. We are given these images of what perfection looks like and then we go to our own mirrors and wonder why we are so far from it. And, if you’re like me, sometimes you say horrible things to yourself. I used to cry getting dressed in the mornings because I hated how I looked.
Eventually I learned the impact on that on the deeper levels of my being. I learned to reverse it and how to speak life to myself. Write down three things you want to see differently. For example, maybe you don’t like your hips, you’re critical of your skin, and you don’t assert yourself as much as you should. Transform those into positive affirmations and say them to yourself every time you look in a mirror and randomly throughout the day. For example, instead of “Ugh, I hate the way my hips look in these pants.” You say “I love the unique curve of my hips.” Instead of “my skin looks so dry,” say, “I love my healthy skin.” Instead of “I’m so pathetic, why didn’t I say something when that person cut in front of me at the store?” Say, “I am confident and assertive.”
I know this sounds silly. You might feel like you’re lying to yourself. I have done this myself and thought it sounded silly and felt like I was lying to myself. At first, I was quite resistant to it. However, when I’d gotten to the point I was done feeling like crap about myself, I was willing to try anything and I did this for a year. The shift it created happened much sooner than that though. I am telling you, you speak life to yourself consistently, shut down that inner mean girl always picking herself apart and start building yourself up and you will be amazed.
You will absolutely see results in how you look and feel just from what I shared for food and exercise, but, including the positive self-talk component is truly lifechanging.
This a kick-start to transforming your body, improving your health, and learning to love yourself. Give yourself 3 weeks and see how you start to feel and how your body starts to change. Keep going with it and you will be amazed at how much better you feel and how your body changes.
I would love for you to give this a try and hear about your results. Please share in the comments. Also, if you found this helpful and want to continue the pursuit of faith, fitness, and joy with me, please check out the Faith Fitness Joy podcast. You can also follow Faith Fitness Joy on Facebook and Instagram.