Today, I am uncovering the mystery of the mind so you can get back in the driver’s seat and reach your goals faster! We have all heard the phrase mind over matter and it is 100% true. Many of you may also be familiar with the concept that thoughts become things or that our thoughts create our reality, Some of you may have even tried to apply some of the mechanics of shifting the mindset or manifestation and have grown frustrated and given up. I totally get this. I have been there so many times, but I am here to not just encourage you to keep going, but also give you some tools that will help with the process.
I have done many episodes about mindset, particularly focused on recognizing your dominant thought paradigm. I have been working on my mindset for several years now as well as working on my inner healing. I have learned a couple important things from this: first, it is ongoing; you are never “done” with the work and second, it is difficult (but well worth it). One of the biggest reasons it is difficult is it requires you to be honest with yourself and confront many aspects of yourself and your thinking that you may not want to face. Another is that it can wear you down at times; you get frustrated and fatigued. This is in part because of how sneaky our minds are and partly related to age and how many limiting beliefs and stories we have created and locked into our subconscious. Therefore it takes time and consistency to shift.
Please don’t let this deter you! You can absolutely shift your mind. The good news is that you will see and feel shifts and changes along the way. The more you increase your awareness the more progress you achieve, which will give you the momentum to keep going when you bump into that frustration and fatigue. So, one tip I can offer is be honest with yourself and give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up; just don’t continue to identify as those feelings.
Alright, so let’s get into the sneaky ways your mind keeps you stuck.
- Victim Mentality
This is a paradigm in itself. It is characterized by seeing everything as happening to you, everyone as being against you, and the odds being stacked against you. As you start to work to shift this your mind will start throwing all the evidence up in your face to validate this. You start off toward your goals and hit a minor snag and find yourself frustrated and throw your hands up and say “see, nothing ever works out for me!” This does two things, one is you have just validated this limiting belief/story of your ego and subconscious mind and two you have asked for more of the same.
To shift this, you have to get to the root of why you believe this. That is a whole different episode. In the meantime, catch yourself when you speak things like this and quickly change the statement. Try “everything is always working for my highest good.” - Fear
Another tactic our minds use when we are shifting our mindset and working to stretch ourselves by moving toward a goal is our fears. As sure as the sun rises each morning, the moment you firmly decide to take that leap, make the big change, start that project or whatever it is, your brain will sound the alarm bells immediately. All your fears and maybe even some you didn’t know you had will suddenly be screaming at you. This can be crippling and often keeps many from moving further. Don’t let this be you.
Instead of allowing the fear to overcome you, sit with it for a bit. Set a timer for 30-60 minutes and allow yourself to work through the fear. Follow it. Ask questions like, ‘what would happen if this were true or came to pass?’ You will find the fears will dissipate after some time doing this and they will hold less power over you. Thank the fear and your mind for trying to keep you safe and tell your mind that it is safe to proceed with this endeavor. - Distraction
This is when you sit down to start a project or some other activity toward your goal and your mind will come up with all kinds of things to distract you. Suddenly you will have a seemingly uncontrollable urge to re-organize the hall closet. Some random question will cross your mind that you decide you must google right then and there; so you can focus, of course. You’ll have just sat down and settled to start when you remember you left your drink in the kitchen. You get the idea.
Some things you can do: have a list of everything you need/want to have nearby for what you’re doing and check it’s all in place before starting. Break things into chunks of time, like 30 minute or 60 minute increments and set a timer. You cannot get up or do anything else but that specific activity until the timer goes off. Turn your phone off or on silent, or put it in another room. Set a mini goal for this window of time. For example, if you’re writing a book, tell yourself you can’t stop until you’ve drafted at least one chapter, even if it’s messy. If it’s a workout, you can’t stop until you have done at least 15 minutes, etc. - Deception
This is where the mind will use our perception to distort the truth or create or reinforce a limiting belief/story. For example, we see someone post something on social media about a win with something we are also working towards and start thinking, “well, they have tons of money to spend on ads,” or “they probably have a fast metabolism and I don’t, so they lost that weight faster,” or whatever. I think you get the idea.
The mind will draw from the depths of your paradigm to convince you that you cannot succeed, that it is harder for you than it is for others, or that it is never going to work for you, to keep you in the comfort zone. Again, as far as our subconscious mind is concerned the new, aka unknown, is scary and as frustrating as it is when you are trying to change, your subconscious is trying to keep you safe.
The best thing you can do is be your own best friend. If this was your best friend saying these things to you, what would you tell them? You’d boost their confidence, right? You’d tell them they’ve got this and you’d cheer them on and tell them not to give up. So, do this for yourself when you bump into this. - Physical Body
This is another one the mind likes to use to stop us from taking another step into the unknown. It will throw aches and pains at you, headaches, and any other type of bodily discomfort to create a distraction or stop you completely. You’ll suddenly feel super hungry, have to go to the bathroom, or have a mad craving for some junk food that isn’t in your nutrition plan when you’re trying to shed some weight. - Memories
This is another big one. It’s along the lines of the fears, where the mind will start digging up all kinds of memories of past failures, criticisms, rejections, etc. to deter you. Things you may have long forgotten will suddenly be haunting you. This can cast doubts on your ability to succeed or resurrect some of the more traumatizing memories related to being noticed or visible. Follow the same steps as I suggested for the fears that come up to move through this. What is it showing you? Why is the current situation triggering this? What is it about going for this that is resurrecting these memories and ghosts of things past? - Self-Sabotage
This is where you suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to do the things you know aren’t going to help you get where you want to go. This can include a range of things like procrastination, eating foods you know aren’t great for you when trying to lose weight, scrolling when you said you’d work on that project, drinking when you decided to cut back or stop, binging a show instead of watching that training or doing that workbook for your coaching program, or whatever else your brain comes up with that will not only keep you stuck but which can often counter your efforts and set you back.
The key with this one is self-awareness. Go back to my episode called the Seven Steps for Healing Emotional Triggers, because this one requires a bit deeper work. The more you aware you are of the root causes (aka past trauma) for your limiting beliefs/stories, the more power you have when these things pop up to deter you. You will start to recognize them for what they are and this will empower you to keep your eyes on the goal and continue to progress towards it.
So, friends, there you have seven sneaky ways your mind is keeping you stuck. Like I said it isn’t easy work, but it is worth it, because it is the key to changing your life. I really hope you will give this a go, You will be amazed at how your life will start to change.
Thank you all for stopping by today. Please like, follow, and subscribe and also share with friends who you think would like this blog. Last but not least, a reminder that I am enrolling for my 6-week Spring Slim Down group coaching program. If you haven’t already, get in on this, so you can look and feel ah-mazing by summer. Great value and an even better price. Enroll today, right here!